I've been in such a funk lately. I think it's a combination of burn out at work, overloaded schedule at home, some pressures from my calling at church and on top of that not feeling so great about my fitness (or lack there of) coupled with some insecurities shinning, some things I've bottled up and the fact that I am terrible at communicating this to anyone - but myself. It all resulted in an evening of ridiculous crying for a couple of hours but I haven't really shaken it.
I just need to let it go.
Usually, I'm the ridiculously annoying, happy person. The one who is always seeing the glass as half full. In fact, the glass is always full (half with water and half with air!). See, it can get annoying. Usually, I'm the optimistic one and the one who will try, try again and again and again.
I need to forgive.
Lately, I just haven't felt like trying. I've been in a kind of pity party for myself that I can't seem to fully pull out of. I would just keep hoping that someone or something would pull me out of it, I just needed that one thing to kick start me again. It didn't happen.
I need to be at peace.
Then last night, I was sitting on the couch watching TV, feeling bored and annoyed and I realized. It was ME. I need to be the one to pull myself out of it, because no one else will. I need to be my own hero, because in life, most of the time, no one else will.
I need to never give up.
So, I'm sitting here today, in a bit of a better mood. I feel like I still have some emotions I still haven't worked out fully, but I know that it's up to me. I'm willing to put in the work because I like being happy. Don't we all? So I'm shaking the funk. Maybe not as quickly as I would like (or those around me would like) but I'm working on it.
I need to focus.
So. I will.