I'm still having a hard time comprehending why someone would ever have the urge to kill innocent children. I'm still having a hard time understanding the crazy arguments that are spawning from all of this. Gun control. Religion. Freedom.

I'm sad.

I can't believe this is the world I live in. When I was in kindergarten we talked about how we were making the world a better place. We were excited about growing up to see how much good we could do. But it seems that whatever that little positive light was that was glowing back then has been long extinguished and the idea of making the world a better place is just a joke now. A joke that gets argued just like everything else. An argument that gets tossed back and forth on Facebook and Twitter with snarky comments from one extreme to the other.

I thought we were supposed to be better than this.
I'm mad.

I thought there was hope. I thought there was change. And I don't mean in the political sense. I thought that at some point being human trumped all judgments and opinions and that love solved everything.

I look at what I try to teach my son and it scares me that I may raise a very naive young man. I am truly scared for his future and what it will be like as he grows up. I don't want him to have to face all of this that is going on in our world today. People disgustingly comment how we don't live in the 50's anymore and how we've "moved on from that time" in so many ways. I mean really I almost wish we didn't.  Women were oppressed but I'd take that oppression in a heartbeat if that meant that my son were safe and didn't face the terrifying things that happen daily. Maybe I'm being extreme.

I just can't fathom at how people, supposedly so advanced, can still have these fundamentally  basic problems still. We still have hate in some form or another. We still have murder, in more forms than ever.

When I was in kindergarten talking about how I would help make the world a better place, I never imagined at 37 I would be living in such daily fear of what could possibly happen to the ones I love.

My prayers and my tears go out to those children, their families, their friends and everyone who has been affected by this act of senseless violence in Newtown, CT. Personally, as one of my friends recently said (and thankfully so because I wasn't even in this mind frame to think this way)... this is one of the only things that give me comfort right now.

That they (at least in my belief) are with Heavenly Father and are being comforted.

PS: follow me on twitter: @tattooedmommie