Jessica over at GlistenFit posted an All or Nothing April workout, and although I'm not following her calendar (although I do love her), it is totally All or Nothing April for me.

I'm doing a 4 week program to kick start me back into my fitness routine this Spring. Yeah, I know I'm late, we're supposed to be doing this in the winter so we all can squeeze into the bathing suits and all, but hey, I'm a procrastinator. So, I found a great 4 week nutrition and workout plan out of Muscle and Fitness Hers that I think is going to work great. Granted, I don't have kettlebells so I'm substituting in some dumbbell work. And this will be my first time EVER having to work out in the mornings. Today was my first 5am workout and I'm glad it's done but boy am I beat! That whole "working out in the morning gives you energy" thing.. apparently doesn't work for me.

The thing I like about this nutrition plan is the first 2 weeks are 1500 calorie goals and then the last 2 weeks are 1200ish calories.  So, I'm really excited to see how this goes and to see how I feel at the end of the 4 weeks. I'll be tracking my nutrition and workouts on sparkpeople (user: justjonna) and probably myfitnesspal (user: akajonna) so add me as a friend and you can keep me accountable or join along if you want!

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I mean, more importantly is the risen Son of God, Jesus Christ. 

What? That's not you? That's me. Totes.
But see, here's the deal. I still have candy from valentine's day, and even some from Christmas and I'm pretty sure there may be some Halloween candy still lurking in that big candy drawer of ours.

And I think my love of candy has been passed on to my son. Literally, every night after dinner he grabs a piece (or 3) for desert. I can't blame him. I want to do the same. But I fear I may have instilled in him some bad habit he will have to try twice as hard to break later when he realized how many calories are in those reese's and that eating a bag of skittles at a time is just frowned upon.

So here's to a candy crush, like for real, not the game. I'm going to do a candy cleanse, so to speak. No more candy! No more sweets. If I want sweets, it's going to come from fruit. Let's see how long this lasts before I freak out and binge eat oreos.

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I've been in such a funk lately. I think it's a combination of burn out at work, overloaded schedule at home, some pressures from my calling at church and on top of that not feeling so great about my fitness (or lack there of) coupled with some insecurities shinning, some things I've bottled up and the fact that I am terrible at communicating this to anyone - but myself. It all resulted in an evening of ridiculous crying for a couple of hours but I haven't really shaken it.

I just need to let it go.

Usually, I'm the ridiculously annoying, happy person. The one who is always seeing the glass as half full. In fact, the glass is always full (half with water and half with air!). See, it can get annoying. Usually, I'm the optimistic one and the one who will try, try again and again and again.

I need to forgive.

Lately, I just haven't felt like trying. I've been in a kind of pity party for myself that I can't seem to fully pull out of. I would just keep hoping that someone or something would pull me out of it, I just needed that one thing to kick start me again. It didn't happen.

I need to be at peace.

Then last night, I was sitting on the couch watching TV, feeling bored and annoyed and I realized. It was ME. I need to be the one to pull myself out of it, because no one else will. I need to be my own hero, because in  life, most of the time, no one else will.

I need to never give up.

So, I'm sitting here today, in a bit of a better mood. I feel like I still have some emotions I still haven't worked out fully, but I know that it's up to me. I'm willing to put in the work because I like being happy. Don't we all? So I'm shaking the funk. Maybe not as quickly as I would like (or those around me would like) but I'm working on it.

I need to focus.

So. I will.

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